A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort
by Boomerang Fish
Summary: The title says it all. Every Potter fan hates Lord Voldemort, now is the time to get revenge! Come on you KNOW you want to. I post reader suggestions, chapter 10 is finally up!
1. 1 to 21

A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort

Everyone hates Lord Voldemort (Except the Death Eaters and Nagini the Creepy Boa Constricterlike thing). So I have decided to create a list of ways to either kill him or drive him nuts.

If you like this one go read A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Scipio Bellorum, which I wrote, and A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Azula, which **defend it** wrote. Keep in mind that all these things should be done while wearing an Avada Kedavra-proof suit. I POST READER SUGGESTIONS!

Disclaimer: It belongs to J.K Rowling the Genius Who Made Harry Potter. Who is not me.

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1.)Get the Harry Potter Puppet Pals to invade his Evil Lair, bother him then shoot him with machine guns. 

2.)Make a thing that looks like his diary and sell it over the internet. Make sure to say that he loves Narcissa Malfoy and put hearts around her name and write it in pink. Not only will this annoy him, Lucius Malfoy will want to Avada Kedavra him for going out with his wife.

3.)Get one million wombats that are immune to being cursed. Then feed Voldemort a batch of cookies that has a Wombat Attack potion in it. Release the wombats into his Evil Lair and enjoy the show.

4.)Superglue photos of Harry's face to every surface in his Evil Lair.

5.)Go to the Next World and get Dumbledore's Angry Ghost and tell the ghost where Voldy's Evil Lair is. Sit back and watch the show.

6.)Make a giant neon sign that says HEY MINISTRY OF MAGIC ORDER OF THE PHOENIX PEOPLE THIS IS THE EVIL LAIR OF THE DEATH EATERS COME AND ATTACK IT. Then put it on the roof of his Evil Lair.

7.)Wait until he's out trying to kill Harry Potter and/or rescue the other Death Eaters from Azkaban, then decorate his bedroom with fluffy bunnies, rainbows, Dora the Explorer toys, and pink girly stuff.

8.)Steal his wand and throw it over a cliff, then trap him in a room full of Dumbledore fangirls.

9.)Explain to him that it is impossible for him to win because this is a children's book.

10.) Tattoo either Kick Me or Avada Kedavra Me on the back of his shiny bald head.

11.) Get him really drunk then convince him to kiss a llama/monkey/wombat/Michael Jackson and take a picture and give it to the Order of the Phoenix. Then next time they meet the Order can blackmail him.

12.) Tell him that Davy Jones/Fire Lord Ozai/General Bellorum/Sauron is such a better villain than him.

13.) Give all the Death Eaters I'm With Stupid T-Shirts and brainwash them to wear them all the time.

14.) Make Malfoy and Snape valley girls.

15.) Have all the Potter People hit him with sticks. Except Hagrid. Hagrid gets to hit him with a log.

16.) Have all the Potter People put on invisibility cloaks and hit him with sticks. This will confuse him. Hagrid can still hit him with a log :D

17.) Dump steak sauce all over him then introduce him to the Hungarian Horntail from Goblet of Fire.

18.) Have the thestrals from Order of the Phoenix attack him and he won't be able to see where it's coming from.

19.) Trap him in the It's A Small World ride from Disney. He will go slowly insane from listening to that song, I assure you.

20.) Trap him in either Chuck E Cheese's or McDonalds. If he's trapped in Chuck E Cheese's then he will go insane from the stupid games and the giant rats. If he's trapped in McDonalds he will have to eat all that fatty food and have a heart attack, not to mention get seriously disturbed by those clowns.

21.) Tell him it's "in" to wear a lot of shiny objects. When he does, release all the nifflers you can find into his Evil Lair.

**

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A/N: So how did you like the first 21 ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort? I hope they were funny enough. If you have anything you'd like to see here or constructive criticism then please please review & tell me what you think! The next few chapters I'm just doing 15 each, this one was abnormally long.**


	2. 22 to 40

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did Harry would be with Ginny and Dumbledore would not be dead. Also, Voldemort would be with a rock. Which then kills him so he'd be dead.

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22.) Dress him in a giant rat suit and have everyone call him Vold E Mort. (think Chuck E Cheese…)

23.) Trap him in a locked room with Ju Dee from Avatar.

24.) Whenever he walks into a room yell "Here comes the Dark Lord Voldemort, Enemy of the Ministry of Magic, Leader of the Death Eaters and Narcissa Malfoy's lover!" at the top of your lungs. This should be really annoying if he's trying to be all stealthy and hide from the Order of the Phoenix, especially the last part.

25.) Release monkeys into the Evil Lair to trash the place.

26.) Somehow go back in time and get Voldy's teenage self. The teenage self will throw a wild party in the Evil Lair, drink all their beer, and do I don't know what to the space time continuum thingy if the older Voldemort sees him.

26.) Replace the boat at the underground lake filled with Inferi with a metal one. Cover it with water. Run into the Evil Lair yelling "The Horcrux is gone! THE HORCRUX IS GONE!!!!" He'll go to check the island and take the boat. When he's about halfway across stick a jumper cable in the water and electrocute him.

27.) Tattoo a heart on his chest with (choose one) Wormtail/Karkaroff/Barty Crouch (Jr. or Sr.)/A Rock/Umbridge written in it.

28.) Pay Grawp to step on him.

29.) Have a curse-proof Sorting Hat live in his Evil Lair and constantly bug him.

30.) Draw a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

31.) Make a Photoshopped picture of him sleeping with Narcissa Malfoy. Then go up to Lucius at like dinner or something show him the picture and go "Are you going to stand for this????"

32.) While he's sleeping put a monkey in his bed and take a picture. Then tell the Daily Prophet that he has no love life, so he Transfigured a rock into a monkey and sleeps with it.

33.) About half an hour after doing Number 32, trap him in a room with Rita Skeeter.

34.) "Accidentally" spill pink paint on his black robes.

35.) While he's sleeping put itching powder in ALL his clothes.

36.) Make him wear Ron's dress robes from Goblet of Fire.

37.) Replace all his clothes with women's clothes. Including underwear. Put a pink unicorn sparkly thing on his wand and give him fluffy pink bunny slippers and pajamas.

38.) Brainwash Malfoy and Snape to say stupid lines from the red and blue unicorns from Charlie the Unicorn. Brainwash the rest of the Death Eaters to sing the Candy Mountain song.

39.) Throw a watermelon at his head. When he turns around whistle and go "Who, _me????_"

40.) Put advertisements for wigs, hair-growing medicine, and plastic surgery around the Evil Lair.

**

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A/N: Hi there! So how'd you like it! Review and suggest stuff, because EVERYONE hates Voldemort!**


	3. 41 to 55 and a Reader Suggestion

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I do, however, own this little maple sugar candy shaped like a piggy. You KNOW you're jealous.

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41.) Have the Magical Leoplurodon from Charlie the Unicorn eat him.

42.) Follow him around all day selling Hair Tonic and Hair in a Can (like from the Spongebob movie…yes, I watched it.)

43.) Dump pink glittery paint on Nagini, feed him/her/it a caffeine drivers pill so she's hyper. Then release her(?) into Voldemort's room. She (I'm just guessing it's a she) will get glittery paint EVERYWHERE.

44.) Put laxative in his morning coffee. Optional: make sure all the bathrooms in wherever he's going are out of order, and steal every article of clothing he has except what he's wearing.

45.) Steal his diary and read it out loud to the Order of the Phoenix.

46.) Tease him that his Evil Lair is not ominous/scary/evil enough. Tell him he should go rent Mordor/Fire Nation/The Flying Dutchman/The Empire's army camp because his is lame.

47.) Also tell him the Death Eaters aren't ominous/scary/evil enough. Say he should fire them and get an army of Orcs/an army of Firebenders/the Empire's army/an army of half-fish pirates to do his bidding because THEY'RE scary.

48.) Then, for his next birthday, get him the Guide to Being Evil. (see Icemark Inboxes Chapter 14)

49.) Make him get stuck in the finger trap from Ark and Kerrigan and/or listen to the Final Fantasy Tribute song on repeat. It's pretty funny actually but it can get annoying and stick in your head after like 20 times.

50.) Have Magical Trevor turn him into a cow then send him to the Powerful Dimension.

51.) Tell Bellatrix that Voldemort is going out with Narcissa. She will get so jealous and team with Malfoy to get revenge.

52.) Take away his wand and make him go to a Muggle middle school/high school.

**(Bully: Gimme your lunch money punk! **

**Voldemort: Do not anger me foolish mortal! Avada Kedavra!!!**

**Bully: O-kaaaaaaaay…)**

53.) Whenever he mentions Harry Potter, say "You mean the Boy Who Lived, the one destined to destroy the Evil that threatens our world and save us all from _destruction_?!?!?!?!?!?" When saying destruction look pointedly at him.

54.) Whenever he mentions killing Harry Potter say in a preschool-teacher-ish voice "That's not nice, Voldy. Go tell Harry you're sorry. Killing people isn't right for the classroom, is it Voldy?"

**And now for the VERY FIRST reader suggestion, submitted by hpluvr4life.**

55.) Subscribe him to Barbie Girl magazine. **(teehee. This _would _annoy him. Especially if, say, he got it in front of the other Death Eaters.) **

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A/N: Hey there! If anyone knows whether Nagini is a girl or a boy and how you spell leoplurodon, then tell me. And don't forget to review! This seems to be my most popular story, but if you have the time then read my other ones too please.**


	4. 56 to 70 Reader Suggestions

Hi again! Yes here it is, Chapter Four. And I'm happy to say I got a lot of reader suggestions, thanks so much! Is anyone excited for the next book? It's called Deathly Hollows or at least that's what one of my friends says. WHOSEXCITEDIMEXCITED! Ok and on a less hyper note, if you're going to submit something can you please make sure there aren't any typos? It saves me work and I can get the chapters up faster.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. But I do own the COMPLETE Bone series! Yippee Smiley Bone rocks!

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56.) Imperius Snape to be gay and try to make out with him or something 

57.) Write a random diary and show it to him saying it's Snape's, with it saying in pink ink that he thinks he's sexy (put grease marks on the pages so he will think it's from Snape's nose)

58.) Show the diary to Bellatrix and then watch the show.

59.) Tie him to a chair with the anti-apparition charm and make him listen to: 1) Clifford the red dog's song and 2) Dragon tales song

60.) Show him random Power Ranger mutants, and tell him those things are scarier than the Death Eaters. - **Long Lost Dream37 **

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61.) Subscribe him to PlayWITCH magazine and have it delivered in front of the other Death chewers AND Narcissa LMFAO **- Anonymous (fanficfan1037**)

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62.) Tape Ed to him 

62.) Tell him that he can learn the way to cause Mass Destruction if he goes into a room. In that room is a TV which continually plays "Barney", "Teletubbies" and "SuperSize Me" and has non Alohamora-able door. The only food is McDonald's. And lock the door! Put in a video-camera and enjoy the show!

63.) Trap him in Dorothy's body (without his wand) and make him do "The Wizard of Oz".

64.) Force him to perform "Charlie the Unicorn" as the Purple Unicorn, with Snape as the Pink Unicorn, and Malfoy as Charlie. Secretly film it and post it on YouTube, then run for your life!

**-Silver Wind Kitsue **

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65.) Sign him up for a talent show to sing the Candy Mountain Song as the Letter Y. 

66.) Feed him a super huge fantabulous meal, then make him watch the part in SuperSize Me when that guy is getting stomach surgery.

67.) Hold a Villain Of The Year Awards. Make Voldemort lose to some lame cartoon villain.

68.) Trap him in health class for all eternity. He will have to watch dumb movies and look at those nasty posters with the insides of smoking addicts for the rest of his life.

69.) Tell the rat creature that likes stew that Voldemort says he's stupid and stew sucks. Tell the rat creature that likes quiche that Voldemort thinks he's some dumb quiche-loving lame monster and quiche sucks. They'll gang up to get revenge. –Fyi, rat creatures are from the comic strip Bone-

70.) Force him to wear the Salmon Suit from SpongeBob for one whole week. **–snowwolf28, AKA the AUTHOR! **

**

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A/N: Does anyone else here read Bone? It's hilarious! Smiley Bone and the Stupid Rat Creatures are the life of the comic. If you haven't noticed I'm in Super Bone Fan mode when I'm writing this chapter. **

Smiley Bone: Quick! Read 'em some of this! -points to Moby Dick book- Call me Ishmael!

Rat Creatures?

Smiley Bone: Ohhhh...I guess they only fall asleep when YOU do it...

Fone Bone: -glares-

Oh yeah, and for those who haven't seen SuperSize Me, there's this part where they film this guy getting stomach surgery. It's VERY disturbing. We had to watch the movie last year for health class.

Leave reviews and suggestions!


	5. 71 to 85 Reader Suggestions

WOW! Chapter 5! I have to keep putting these up really fast if I want anyone to read them, so review a lot cause I can only think up SO many of my own ideas. And anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: You know the deal…

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71.) Tell him the love of his life has just declared her love for him and give him your phone number. Don't answer and then record the message, put it on a CD, and burn it for all the Death Eaters.

72.) Make him read the Lemony Snicket books and then watch the movie (which sucks btw) **–hpluvr4life**

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73.) Imperius him to dance the nutcracker with the whole ballet costume and the death eaters as the other actors. Film it and post it at YouTube. Run.

74.) Convince him all evil masters sing karaoke in their free time, and then force him to sing along the Barney songs.

75.) Get photos of sexy chicks and then dress them as death eaters in Photoshop. Print them and show them to Bella. Tell her Voldy had them under his pillow. Make sure the photos have weird messages and dedications for 'Sexy V'. Enjoy the show. **– Long Lost Dream37 **

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76.) Make him admit that he's a "closet" LOTR fan and have him sing Aragorn's Coronation to prove it

Et Earello Endorenna Utulien  
Sinome Maruvan ar Hildinyar  
'Tenn Ambar metta

Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I am come.  
In this place I will abide, and my heirs, unto the ending of the world

Optional and really funny: Make him sing the above in full coronation gear (winged crown and all) **– Estel a Duath**

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77.) Hide Boggarts in his room and his lair and hide his wand, find his fear and watch his reaction, (take photos)

78.) Put Viagra in his morning coffee and introduce him to Michael Jackson **–anonymous (Anna Potter) **

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79.) Put a sign above his evil lair (next to the one that says its his secret hideout) that announces exactly how long it is till he invades Hogwarts **–valindil **

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80.) Tell him Medea (coughICEMARKcough) is waaaaaaaaaay better at the whole Evil Witch/Wizard thing.

82.) Get Dexter the Monkey from Night at the Museum to a.) slap him, b.) throw fire extinguisher foam at him and c.) relieve himself on him

83.) Get Medea to teach him how to be evil for $16 an hour. Then go up to him with a hidden microphone and say "So, Medea has been teaching you how to be evil?" He'll say "Yes". "How much do you pay her?" "Sixteen dollars an hour!" Edit it so the first question is "So, you've been _spending time_ with Medea?" Then play it on the radio, say it's Voldy's "Dirty Little Secret" and RUN.

84.) Steal all his stuff, and say you'll give it back if he gets you a shrubbery. Follow him around saying "ni" while he tries to find the shrubbery.

85.) Make him, Snape and Malfoy re-enact the Fish Slapping Dance. **–ME! **

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A/N : So…review please! Oh, and next chapter I think it would be funny if I posted Romeo and Juliet-themed and High School Musical-themed ways to annoy Voldemort. Review and tell me yes or no pleez! 


	6. 85 to 100 Reader Suggestions

HI! Chapter 6, then…wow these are going by fast. And I checked Barnes and Noble and the Harry Potter Book 7 is called Deathly HALLLOWS. Not Hollows. Whatever. Oh yeah! And you can get the Mac widget for the countown. Woohoo! And no, I did NOT just have really caffeinated coffee. So you can just get that thought OUT of your head. This chappie features ways to Annoy Voldemort themed around High School Musical and Romeo and Juliet.

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86.) Imperius the Death Eaters to follow him around singing the chorus to "Stick to the Status Quo," until it is stuck in his head.

"It is better by far to keep things as they are.  
Don't mess with the flow, no no! Stick to the Status Quo!"

Then say, "Yeah, Thomas, go off and be a dorky little nerd with evil dreams and no guts for a while!"

87.) Replace his entire wardrobe with nothing but nasty, old shorts. Then, every time he addresses you, say "Yes, Lord Moldy-Shorts?" **– Snaily **

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88.) Have someone follow him around reciting bits of fairy tales where good always wins.

**- valindil**

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89.) When Voldemort goes to try to kill Harry, Harry is in Disney Land and he goes on a ride. Have Voldie go on the ride, "It's a Small World." After the ride, he gets out of Disney Land and goes back to England. When he gets back, when he gets into his lair. Actually, when he walks IN, have the song, "It's a Small World," on in the background.

90.) Have Voldie dress up as Sephiroth, from FF7, have Cloud go in, and beat up Voldie with his super cool sword attack thing in Advent Children.

91.) Compare Voldie to Orochimaru, from Naruto, and say this, "Dude Voldemort. You are SO like Orochimaru. Both pedophiles. It's so sad actually. I can't believe it. Poor Harry at least we know that he is straight." Then throw shruiken at him when he goes near Harry. Also, say this when Harry's around.

92.) Give Harry darts so that Voldie goes up to him, he can throw them at him. And then go up to Volde with a metal fan and slam him on the head saying, "How dare you hurt Harry."

93.) Place Ramen in the layer and have Inuyasha, from Inuyasha, and Naruto, from Naruto, run up to him and beat him up so badly when Volde eats the ramen.

94.) Throw him in a room with Michael Jackson and Orochimaru from Naruto. Then have them talk to each other and then Harry walks in and throws darts at him and slams him to the ground with a metal fan, and then shudders walking out of the room saying, "Freak."

– **yondaime-kun**

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95.) Have him perform Romeo and Juliet as Romeo, with Narcissa as Juliet. Bella would get SO jealous. Make sure the costume people put him in those freaky tights that guys from Renaissance Italy wore.

96.) When he's performing Romeo and Juliet and kissing Juliet, switch Juliet with a) the Evil Monkey from Family Guy, b) a large trout or c) the ugly half-monkey pigtailed dude that you can see on Google Images.

97.) Make him sing High School Musical songs, and dance High School Musical dances. Then have Simon come in and insult him.

98.) Follow him around all day saying he's going to lose in Deathly Hallows.

99.) Give him J.K Rowling's Deathly Hallows manuscript. You know, the one that says how he's going to LOSE!

100.) Have the Evil Monkey live in his closet. There's an EVIL MONKEY in my closet!

– **snowwolf28, proud owner of Blade of Fire. **

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Sweet! 100 ways to Annoy Voldemort! Oh yeah, Blade of Fire is the second book in the Icemark Chronicles, another beastly British series and right up there with Harry Potter for Best Book in the History of Ever. This chapter was kinda late because a) I had play practice –gags- and b) I'm working on 2 amazingly super fantablulous new stories and the second chapter to Love's Flames. Yes, I write a lot. The two amazingly super fantabulous new stories are the second Icemark Inboxes (which is for anyone who enjoys super-hyper random stupid humor. Or Icemark. Or Icemark characters in ridiculous situations involving wombats.) and Falcon of the East (which is going to be AMAZING. Simply amazing.). So…yeah. 


	7. 100 to 115

Hi! So now it's Presidents Day weekend and I'm waiting for the Patrick for President SpongeBobs, because I actually watch that show. Random humor is funny. So I decided to put this chapter up…and –sobs- there are no reader suggestions. BUT! Whatever. Now I can put in 15 bits of my own hyper randomness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did, but I don't, so…yeah.

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101.) Make SexyBack his theme music. Then, whenever he walks in, have everyone around him break down and do the robot.

102.) Tell him that he looks ugly on the poster for Order of the Phoenix movie.

103.) Send Valentines to Narcissa, signed Voldie.

104.) Beat him with a rubber chicken.

105.) Have a million squirrels infest his Evil Lair, live in the walls, and eat all their food.

106.) Have the Inferi tell him they're leaving to go do Resident Evil, because they pay so much better. Or, have them go work for the Vampire King and Queen for the same reason.

107.) Have him listen to SpongeBob's bad jokes from the Squirrel Jokes episode.

108.) Wake him up at 4 in the morning saying "Good morning Starshine! The Earth says hello!"

109.) Redecorate his room in pinks and hearts and lace, in honor of Valentine's Day.

110.) Make him read every MarySue fan fiction there is. A fate worse than death, I assure you.

111.) Make him watch a pie eating contest, from the point where they're all stuffing their faces to the point where they all get sick.

112.) Tell him that all REALLY successful evil villains have hair and noses.

113.) Follow him around all day asking for food, and when he finally gives it to you say, "No. I don't really fell hungry."

114.) Follow him around all day saying you like pie, when he asks you why you are doing it say, "No. What I really like is asparagus."

115.) While he's sleeping, Superglue a really goofy fake nose to his face. Then when he wakes up say "FINALLY! He actually has a nose!"

**

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A/N: So, there is the new chappie!**

**Voldemort: Why must you torture me so? **

**Harry: Because it's FUN! –beats him with a rubber chicken- **

**Dobby: Dobby says, R & R, people! **


	8. 116 to 130 Reader Suggestions

Yay new suggestions!

Disclaimer: I OWN IT. (NOT!)

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116.) Mention that if Voldemort REALLY wants to rid the world of "Muggle scum", then he should kill himself too. Or you can ask him how he intends to follow through with his goal and remain alive. Then sic a rabid werewolf on him.

117.) Get him together with Jadis the White Witch from Narnia and while they're having an affair (Thanks to some lovely love potions in both their drinks) take pictures. Record if you can.

118.) Compare him to Jadis and mention that he REALLY sucks as a villain. When he demands an explanation, point out that Jadis' enemy is Aslan, who, by the by, happens to be not only some sort of GOD, but one in the form of a LION. Then point out that his greatest enemy is a schoolboy more then half his age.

119.) Continually call him Moldywarts both to his face and behind his back

– **Werewolf of Suburbia**

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120.) Force him and the death eaters to go on that annoying ride from Disneyland or make them act in all Disney plays.

–**Long Lost Dream37**

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121.)Say that the old headmaster, Ezekial Bloor, from Charlie Bone, is MUCH more evil than Voldemort.

122.) When Voldemort starts talking about killing Harry, say to the nearest Death Eater, very loudly, 'I taught him everything I know'.

123.)When Voldemort says he has a plan to kill Harry (finally!), you say how sad it is that you've been beaten by a kid barely past puberty multiple times, once even when he was a year old! **– NickyFox13**

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124.) Send him some gay porn and have the return address from Michael Jackson **– anonymous (Bailadora)**

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125.) Imperius him to think he is a Care Bear.

126.) Every day, say his robes look like a dress.

127.) Get all the Death Eaters, the Ministry of Magic, all Hogwarts teachers, Harry and his friends and people who don't exist in the books (like yourself, J.K Rowling, Britney Spears, Dark Helmet, Scipio Bellorum, Squidward, the crazy dad from _The Shining_) in one room, and have them rub their socked feet on the carpet. Then, when Voldemort comes in and asks why his followers, enemies and a bunch of random people are all in one room in their socks, have them all shock him one by one.

128.) Put Veritaserum in his pumpkin juice.

129.) Laugh hysterically whenever he utters the word "the".

130.) Get Veego and LaBerge, from Pendragon, to give the Evil Lair an extreme makeover. Or get anyone who would fill it with clowns, Dora, Care Bears and pink stuff. And more clowns. **– a person (coughTHEAUTHORcough) **

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Ok, since I've been getting all these suggestions, I get to lay down some rules!**

–**scary music plays- **

**1.) PLEASE, spell check your stuff. It saves me time, and I can get these chapters up way faster if I don't have to correct stuff. **

**2.) It is perfectly okay to put in stuff from other fandoms, however, if you don't think it is funny, don't submit it. You aren't required to suggest stuff.**

**3.) And finally, don't copy others work. You can include the same JOKES (Narcissa's lover, pink girly stuff, cracks about his baldness/lack of nose, losing to a teenager), but don't copy the exact same wording someone else uses. **

**So, now that we've got that straightened out, leave suggestions and love! **


	9. 131 to 155 Reader Suggestions

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, that is owned by J.K Rowling.

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131.) Tell him that Anakin from Star Wars had a WAY better transformation than him. 

–**xx.beautiful **

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132.) Have Voldemort go down a mile long aisle of feminine care products i.e. tampons, birth control contraptions etc. and have the loud speaker go over the joys of becoming a woman. 

–**Morris21**

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133.)When Voldie walks into a room, yell out randomly, "OH look, it's our super bad boy. Who's the bad boy?" Then, run up to him and glomp him. After you let go, stare at him and then back away slowly, then run out of the room screaming, "AH, IT'S AN OLD SCARY DUDE! PEDIFILE!" Then take out a sword and say, "I'm not afraid to use it." 

134.) Go up to him and in a meeting yell, in his ear and for everyone to hear, "OH MY GOODNESS! Did you KNOW that Voldie is a...HALFBLOOD? Did you?" Then start shaking random death eaters. After you shake Snape, faint on the ground and roll around like a fish everytime he begins talking.

135.) In a meeting, randomly begin to sing, "Smack That," by Akon(It's actually a good song). Then dance randomly on the table when Voldie turns around. No, do it during one of his speeches.

136.) Send him yaoi fanfiction of him and Harry. Better yet, send him yaoi fanfics of Harry and Slytherin. Then, if you want to, read them out loud whenever he talks in a meeting(I actually like some of the yaoi stuff).

137.) Show him yaoi pictures of him and Harry.

138.) When he says something about an attack on a village, say, "Dude, that is SO not cool." Pause and then sing the "Sitar" song, and play a sitar while smiling at Voldie. If you feel like it, dance on top of the table.

139.) Whenever Voldie steps into the room stare at him and then when he says, "Let's start the meeting," yell out, "Oi PEEPS! LET'S PART-AY!" And then party during the whole meeting.

140.) Whenever he uses the pain curse, gasp, and yell out, "DUDE, did you SEE that! HE CURSED somebody." Stop after that and laugh your head off.

141.)Whenever he talks about the Order, say randomly, "So, let me get this straight buddy old pal," slap him on the back, "You want to be with the ORDER? Wow. I NEVER knew you felt that way," pause again sighing, "Ah, I know you're secret and I'm not afraid to use it on you." Then whisper in his ear, "I KNOW you want Harry. Why? HE's pretty cool," Slam his back and make sure he falls into his drink. After he falls in, frolick away and smile waving at random people passing by to your seat. Stare at Voldie the WHOLE time.

142.) Yell out, "Oi, look, it's Tommy-Voldie boy. How are you doing buddy old pal?" Smack his back when you see him, after you yell out this. **– yondaime-kun **

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143.) Whenever he walks into a room, sing, "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch" 

144.) When he's sleeping, take a Sharpie and draw hair on his head. When he wakes up and sees it, go "Well, at least it's better than nothing."

145.) Tell him that he is not in the category "Fictional Evil Geniuses" on Wikipedia. Proceed to list reasons why. Include cracks about his baldness. Also say, maybe he's not in there because he's stupid and the category's geniuses only.

146.) During one of his serious meetings with serious people, Imperius him to get on a table and do the can-can while singing the Llama Song.

147.) Follow him around all day asking for a silver hand.

148.) When he's in his Death Eater robes walk by and go, "Hey Voldy, nice dress"

149.) Make dolls of him, and sell them as "Wannabe Evil Genius Barbie"

150.) Make small, magic-proof dolls of the Potter People and put them in random places around the Evil Lair (in his bed, in his closet, on his wand, in his breakfast…)

151.) Run to him in the middle of the night saying there's a monster in your closet. Don't leave his bedroom until he goes to see. When he opens the closet to say there's no such thing as monsters, he will shut his mouth and walk away because in the closet is a picture of him.

152.) Put a large gorilla in his bed and put them both in compromising positions. Take pictures.

153.) Drug him with sleeping powder and Narcissa and put them in the same bed. Put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and invite everyone.

154.) Replace the Dark Mark with a pink fluffy bunny. When he asks why his Dark Mark is a bunny, put on a Scottish accent and go "Laugh all ye want, tha' rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide!"

155.) Enter him in an Ugly Contest. Have the guys at the door turn him away saying "Sorry, no professionals." **–snowwolf28 **

**A/N: Sorry I couldn't update sooner, the site was all screwed up and wouldn't upload ANYTHING. Thanks to **e**veryone who reviews! **


	10. 156 to 174 Reader Suggestions

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own Harry Potter, so please don't sue.

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156.) Ask him in an odd voice, "Do you have a MySpace? If you do, add me." – **oh.so.sirius **

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157.) Give him _Hair Growing for Dummies_

158.) Go up to him and say "You smell like sunshine dust!"

159.) Follow him around all day singing "I've got a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, and it goes a little like this" (repeat over and over)

160.) Ask him to Avada Kedavra you and when he does, hold a mirror in front of you so it rebounds.

161.) Say you're going to give him a piece of toast, but the Toast could be my incredibly evil bird... it would bite him and make him bleed like it has done to me numerous times.

– **Genairco Girl**

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162.) go to Rita Skeeter and have the two of you plot this wonderfully evil and funny plan in which she interviews you as you pretend to be Voldy. Interview as follows

R: So, Voldy lets get right to it, how is it to be defeated by a teenage boy who is not only a TEENAGE boy but a very hot one who has a real love life that does NOT include a married woman that's addicted to plastic surgeons and fake boobs. I mean really now Voldy, at least Hermione's are real!

V/You: Oh its all right, I don't really date Narcissa. I'm really a big fan of PlayWIZARD magazine. It features all of these wonderful pics of teen boys-it's so perfect for a pedophile like me. Especially sine I'm a girl! And I love those pics of Draco, I do hope Cissy doesn't mind I'm lusting after her son although I know he thinks I'm creepy freak just like all my followers and every other human and creature!

R: Well since Cissy is really boy I guess it may work out!

V/You: She's a boy! Oh goody goody goody! Now we get it one again! **-****HannibalRising-FangirlTeenHL**

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163.) Make him listen to showtunes nonstop for 24 hours.

164.) Dye his skin pink with purple polka dots

165.) Show him apicture of Hiroshima and Nagasaki before and after the atom bomb. Then say "Now, do you really want to try to kill Muggles?"

**-****RonsBabyJediBenchwarmerSavvy**

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166.) Use the Full-Body Bind on Voldemort and stand him in front of a computer playing the Llama song. Leave him there until a Death Eater finds him. Make sure not to tell the Death Eaters where he is. –**anonymous (Colleen) **

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167.) Write a fanfiction where Voldy is paired with the most disgusting, evil, foul, annoying, pink MarySue ever. Then read it out loud to him. Slowly. With a very high pitched voice for him, and a low pitched voice for the MarySue.

168.) Follow him around all day singing the "FUN" song from SpongeBob. F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for Ukulele! N is for nose picking chewing gum and sand licking here in the deep blue sea!

169.) Drop random things on his head, then say in a spooky voice "God is aiming at you!"

170.) Throw water on him to see if he melts. Optional: put a Grindylow in the water.

171.) Have random clown dolls appear randomly in the Evil Lair. They should all have creepy grins and insane giggles and those little plastic daisies that squirt water.

172.) Throw random fresh fruit at him, or attack him with a pointed stick.

173.) Ask him if his lip gloss is poppin. ­**–Boomerang Fish**

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174.) Next time he is planning to kill Harry at a meeting, scold him like a mother would and tell him to go sing the barney song (i love you..) to Harry and apoligise, sream hystericlly at the top of your lungs untill he does. **–Tonks not Nymphadora **

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A/N: I just changed my pen name to Boomerang Fish, but in the old chapters it still says my old pen name. Until I get around to editing them, it will stay that way. Sorry for any confusion I might have caused. And has anyone else seen the trailer for Order of the Phoenix. IT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! 


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